So how's it been? I'm in Graz at the moment but tonight I'm heading back to Novi Sad (Serbia) for maybe one weekend... or maybe one week, who knows? (not the local post office thats for sure!)... I think that maybe the post office lady in Marrakesh mistook my pronouncation of "Australia" for "Austria" (damn we've got to change these country names... who the f$&k came up with the name "Australia" anyway?!?)... so maybe the 10 odd postcards I sent to Australia wont make it because they dont have the right priced stamps... and just to let you know- I hate writing postcards! I would rather tip the contents of an ash-tray into a pint of ale and drink it rather than write another postcard...
I'm done with this tyrade... till next rant,
doc. (not to be affiliated with any real doctor)
PS- Is there a doctor on board this plane? (this is something I heard on the plane between Morocco and England... we made an emergency landing in France that day).
You know it did occur to me today that no-one is really paying attention to my blog at all so I've decided to just start making stuff up, maybe if I created a big enough tissue of lies then someone will blow their nose in it (wow that was a metaphor that made no sense).
Without further ado (why not, I like ado),
I give you: FAKE STORIES ABOUT DOC'S TRIP
The other day I visited a place called "Zimzan", the king of Zimzan is this little berber man with white hair and a wooden leg (he painted it gold to fool tourists). Anyhow the king would put on a giant festival in your honor if you could guess what his name was. Intrigued I set about finding a way to learn the king's name, he was berber so logic dictated (bad logic, very bad!) that I should learn his name from a berber. So there I was, the middle of the desert, not a drop of water in sight... I was doomed, I resigned myself to a twisted fate when all of a sudden a jeep pulled up with three berber men inside. They remarked something in french or berber (I couldn't really tell, I dont speak either french or berber), to which I replied "Sorry but I dont speak either french or berber". "Englishman!" they cheered, I followed up with "Australian, but close enough". "What the f**k are you doing in the middle of the f**king desert" one of them questioned me. "I'm trying to find out the king of Zimzan's name" I answered him. "That's easy, his name is Jeff. Want a ride back to town?". "Shit yeah!" I jumped in the jeep. "Where you guys going to?" I asked of the man beside me as the jeep took off. "We're just getting some supplies for the party" he smiled back at me. "Cool, is this some sort of traditional berber thing?". "Nah, its a desert rave... this man up front is a DJ... DJ Yssup". "Nice!" I replied. We pulled up at the grocer (which from the amount of dialog that has just passed would have been about 300 meters away from where they picked me up), and the men got out and bought their party supplies- bottles of water, strobe lights, whistles etc, etc... After that I ended up going to the desert rave, and king Jeff bitter at having his name discovered by a tourist abdicated his throne to me. So thats the story about how I went to see DJ Yssup play a set and was made king of a small but flourishing berber kingdom. I hope you all enjoyed this completely fictional tale about my journey, see you next time on:
FAKE STORIES ABOUT DOC'S TRIP
PS- "Yssup" spells "pussy" backwards, just thought I would throw that one in for you.
Here's a recap on all the things i've gotten up to:
In cronological order from when I got off the plane in Praha: Straight after I got off the plane I met a Czech/Australian guy named Stan. We went on a pub crawl that night and I got hammered on Bozkov rum, when Stan left for an hour he came back and found me curled up on the floor in the pub asleep! I reminded Stan of his late best friend so he showed me around Praha and took me to see Adrspach in the mountains (very nice but if you go take a Czech phrasebook). We parted ways and I headed to Wein (where I bought my nice hat), then Venezia and then Firenze where I met Michi. After hanging around Firenze and meeting an old friend Simone (who I have much admiration for musically), i went to Roma. I made my way from Roma to Bari where I met my new girlfriend Mayuko (Japanese girl), and we spent a week in Dubrovnik, which was fantastic. We both went separate ways in Split, and on the bus from Split to Zagreb I met Rajko. We got drunk. For 3 days I was drunk (a new and possibly unbreakable record for me) and I tried to ride a lifesize plastic horse in Novi Sad, just ask the locals. I ended up staying in Rajko's room in Kovilj (Serbia) for a month (Rajko went back to work in Hvar that sunday feeling a wee bit sick from all the drinking... poor bastard!). During that month I went to see Matt of Concord Dawn work his black magic with my man Djole. Me and Nenad (Rajko's brother) went to see a football game, but we didnt make it- his Yugo ran out of gas and we ended up pushing it to the nearest gas station. And Nenad took me to a work party where I saw this really good Macadonian guitarist and got drunk because of the open bar (I can never turn back a free drink). After Serbia I went back to Italy and then stayed in Padova with my friend Michi and met up with Mayuko in Venezia for a day. Then I stayed in Firenze with Simone and we went to see Messer Chups play (how about that great bassist girl!), and after Firenze I went to Roma and spent the night in Ciampino airport. The next day I flew to Luton (London) and spent another night in an airport :(. In the morning I caught a flight to Marrakesh and met Mayuko at the airport. We spent another week together and then she went back to Japan. I went south to Laayoune and caught a charter flight to Las Palmas, where I got slightly beaten by some punk junkies upon my arrival (hurray!). Another looooooooong trip via bus and plane and I'm back in Marrakesh, typing this into a computer... so that's it! I missed out on a few stories but that is basically my trip thus far... any suggestions on what I should do in the next couple of days before I go to Graz to stay with my friend Misha?
1). Cover myself in chocolate and run naked through the main square shouting out "I'm a candy bar, I'm a candy bar!".
2). Read the entire collective works of Charles Dickens translated into arabic.
3). Go out into the desert with nothing but beach shorts and a towel and ask "Where's the surf at?" in french to everyone I see.
Its your choice lads... If you come up with another suggestion feel free to leave it.
My welcoming commitee consisted of 3 junkies who wanted nothing more than everything I had of value on me. I wish I could say that I did something clever when one of them attacked me but I just yelled out "What are you doing?!?!"... what was he doing? he was punching and kicking me until I stopped moving so he could take my stuff... he didnt understand a word of english anyhow, so there was even less point to what I yelled. I pulled a Forrest Gump after a slight beating, and even though I was carrying about 15 kilos on my back those stupid junkies couldn't keep up with me... too much smack in their system! besides the fact that a person will always run much faster when they know they're in danger, its adrenaline baby. And after all that I did feel a kind of frightened fight club rush, but I would gladly pass on the opportunity again should I see it.
anyhow, more updates later... i've found an online zookeeper game, bye!
No comments eh? you guys are getting sloppy now... as fizz mentioned- I had comments coming in on a regular basis and then I asked if anyone can pick me up from the airport and then: BLLLLIIIFFF! 8 years went past before the next comment... what happened? did you guys suddenly get interesting lives, or is my blog too boring? before you answer that bear in mind I would prefer sweet lies to the harsh reality of things...
Anyway, I'm sick of Morocco... no alcohol, and the landscape is like inland Australia (there's even gum trees everywhere!)... I feel like I escaped the heat of Australia for the heat of Morocco...
Screw you guys- I'm going to the canary islands!
PS- there is no God. sorry to break it to you this way.
So today is going to be the last time I update the blog in a week or so. Just wondering if you guys have reading the blog. I hope you have because I'm going to test your blog knowledge... ready:
1. Who in one of the more recent blogs was trying to communicate from a distant planet? 2. What fruit best describes Europe in Doc's humble opinion? 3. Which drink did Doc consume vast amounts of in Serbia? 4. What career path was Doc contemplating in Morocco? and one last question; 5. What did Doc describe as having "More wisdom than a pub full of irish-men"?
Remember I will be grading you on your answers... the first one who answers them correctly gets a prize of random value, so get to it!
That aside i've been writing an epic poem with all this free time on my hands (now that my girl has headed back home)... i've finished the first 30 pages in my notebook, but I'm not sure if I should publish it on my old blog or this one (because I did write it during my travels it counts as a valid entry, but a long one!)... anyhow get cracking on the answers... you must leave them in the comments for this post to qualify, ciao,
PS- Doc reserves the right to keep the prize for himself after an undisclosed amount of time. All entries not awarded a prize will carry on over to the next competition: Doc's 1,000,000.00 dollar cash grab from the bank robbery competition.
This is Zarlor of the planet Nimbux 5, and I am communicating to you through some puny earthling post. We Nimbuxion's are a friendly people. We enjoy many things a billion times more complex than your puny earth minds can imagine. For instance- we enjoy go....
Sorry about that folks... having problems with Zarlor posting on my blog again, DAMN YOU ZARLOR!!!
Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know that i've bought one of those annoying snake charmer flutes that you hear in the background of the movies set in the middle east... and I want to learn how to play it when I get back to australia, MUHAHAHAHAHAHA... haha...
And i've been trying to decide if I should go to senegal or east to algeria, or re-book my flight home, or follow a career path in snake charming in morocco... imagine it, i'll be famous! the first white guy snake charmer! imagine the tours, from north africa to the middle east, and all the groupies I would get! So let me know what you think, and at least read the last couple of posts- they're completely not pertinent to your lives in any way, shape or form, its brilliant!
Well I did make a post in Firenze but for some reason -unknown to me!- it posted online and then vanished without a trace... t'was a fine post that was lost that day, with more wisdom than a pub full of irish-men... rest in peace fine post.
That disaster aside I've made it to Marrakesh in one piece and let me say one thing- it is tough here, people dart in and out of alleys on tiny motorbikes and vendors hock their wares with precision and experience... I figured I might have some upper-hand from years of retail experience but it's all for naught in this crazy land... one example is that when you enter a shop and give a price to them you must expect them to times it by four, then they will dwindle that down to double your asking price, and then when you head for the exit they act defeated start wrapping the item and you end up paying one and a half times what you wanted to pay... yep, they have old whitey down pat over here. It's even worse if you're Japanese like my girl Mayuko, they have her paying four times what I would pay for something! And they dont budge an iota on the price when she walks out, which leaves me to buying her things by myself, the second they see her their eyes light up and I know that we're going to get bent over on the price!
But Morocco it seems is not that much cheaper than eastern europe, disappointing considering I had a place to stay in Serbia for as long as I wanted... maybe i'll make a dash to west africa when the woman heads back to Japan in four days... who knows what i'll do next?
That wasn't a rhetorical question... get back to me on that one lads...
And I want to hear how things are back home, give me three minutes of your life because I give you half an hour... it's a fair trade!
PS- I have some cool postcards to send, if you want one you have to leave me some funny comment to read.
No... no wait... I'm still in Serbia. Sorry, go back to home, nothing to see here...
I think its official, this is now my trip to Serbia... people back home can ask me "where did you go?" and i'll say "Serbia... oh and a couple of other places"... just to set the record straight though (sorry nuul, the record is straight) Serbia is a great place... its like europe is one giant orange and all this time i've only been eating the orange-peel, now I'm really tasting europe! the good, the bad, the vast in-between... I'm not sure if I have material for a book (sorry phil) but I certainly have material, be some of it of a refined caliber and the rest really quite ordinary... anyhow, I seem to have packed my bags for tangent city, I apologize to you all and I hope you are prepared for many more tangents to follow in the future (tangents being my speciality).
I have a few stories banked up now... needless to say in the past week and a half i've been in Serbia i've been sober for only three days... they have this drink called "Rakija" and its about 40-60 percent... anyhow i'll write more when I have a computer for a couple of hours...
Greetings from Kovilj!
PS- I saw Concord Dawn in Novi Sad last weekend... Matt was at his usual genius behind the decks... I went and said hello to him after his set but he didnt remember me : ( ... all he had to say to me was "What the hell are you doing in Novi Sad?"... good times!
What's this out cry for photos now? I'm sorry but you will have to wait until a find a computer in eastern europe with those capabilities... As far as my trip goes: me and Mayuko have one more day together then we will part ways (at least until she visits Australia)... we are in Split today, not much to say about Split, its a very ordinary city in Croatia... I'm off to Zagreb tonight and Mayuko is off to Ancona (Italy), so we are just going to stroll the markets near Split palace... I had some fun talking the Croatian ticket lady into giving me a student ticket (I have fun getting student prices anywhere in Europe, my student card is shit!), on the plus side my bartering skillz have increased dramatically (I feel like some some of role playing avatar levelling up... DOC! has reached skill level 8...)... So I'm not entirely sure what to expect on my journey now, I should find work but I can only work for a month... I might try for Turkey but I have to make it back to Roma in November for my trip to Morocco... anyhow, I'm up for suggestions... ciao!
P.S. If you ever go to Split visit "The Black Cat Bistro", excellent food and good prices!
Just thought I would drop a line to you guys on Dubrovnik... Its really nice! I've been here for 3 days and its got some good beaches (pebble beaches) and a cool little civic area (behind some castle walls) and the main street is paved with white marble (thats right!)... Very picturesque scenery outside the city as well, and because its about 20 degrees most of the year round the climate is great! I've been sharing a room, bathroom and kitchen with a japanese girl and we've become a bit of an item now, so I guess i'll have to send those nice eastern european women home to Jason and Ash... Tomorrow we'll both be heading to Split and from there onwards to Zagreb... Hopefully i'll find a computer in Zagreb that will allow me to upload some photos, as I realise some of you may be getting sick of all this second hand information (without anything to go off)... but I highly recommend Croatia thus far, its beautiful, its friendly and its quite cheap! Anyhow i've got to post those postcards, so i'll write back in a few days, bye,
I'm jumping the train to Bari (a port town on the east Italian coast), where I will catch a ferry to Dubrovnik (Croatia)... I'm not going home without a fight! I'll extract as much as I can from this trip and I dont want to waste my time in countries i've already been to... that being said my plane ticket is from Roma and it is no refundable so I do need to get back in November... On a lighter note: me and Franz (a german friend I met yesterday) went out to get some towels from a nearby vendor to the hostel and when we came back Franz walked in on some people having sex in the dorm room... wait thats not the funny part! The guy in our dorm (who was doing the loving) quickly ran up and slammed the door in our faces. I wasn't sure what was going on so I went up to the door and opened it again and he quickly slammed it shut again. I then said "what the hell!" and the hostel owner walked up slowly and opened the door from which the man strolled out... me and Franz dropped off our stuff and went sightseeing during which time we speculated that the guy from our dorm was a pimp/drug dealer and the woman was his bitch... To cap off the story- when we came back some english guys had just arrived to stay in our dorm, the hostel owner said "your bed will be ready in ten minutes" and the woman who was lying on the bed left and the owner changed the sheets and brought the english guys into the room... "your beds are now ready"... true story (I dont have the imagination to think up something that stupid!)...
Nothing much new here in the eternal city... still found my old gelatia not far from termini station... looking for work... hooray! its even less fun in a foreign country because you know you can only get the shit jobs! At least back home you have the promise of stumbling into a good job, not here... nope... I'm the illegal alien speaking a strange language! (hmmm, I hope no italians get offended)
So i've decided if I cant get a job in the next 3 days i'll be re-booking my ticket home... its just too expensive here... out of all the countries i've been to this time Italy is the most expensive! (damn euro they must be saying!)... so if anybody would like me to do anything radical (like dance naked in the fountain trevi... or spray paint on the side of the colosseum "Romans go home!") ask me in the next 3 days... I will be up for anything!
Yesterday was fun for me- I got up at 8am... perhaps a record for me... walked around Firenze, saw the line at the Uffutzi Galleria (it was about a mile long, I kid you not!), met up with my new italian friend: Mishu, and said goodbye to him (he was headed back home to Venezia)... met up with my old italian friend: Simone and had lunch at his place (good pasta!)... we tooled around with some music apps (cubase, etc...) and traded albums (my 1 solo album for 3 of his, I think I got a sweet deal there!)... Then it was off to La Spezia and the Cinqueterre. I arrived at Levanto (a town I stayed in during my last trip) only to find that the hostel was fully booked with Italians (there should be a law against staying in hostels in your own country!)... so at about 9 in the evening I was stuck at La Spezia station with a train ticket for Roma leaving at 1:30am... now La Spezia isn't exactly a happening place... I searched for a good hour before I found a bar that was open! So finally I caught the night train to Roma and went back to a hostel that I had stayed in 5 yrs ago and now I'm sitting in a laundromat... its 5 past 9 in the morning... I had about an hours sleep on the train... and I have to wait until 3pm to check into the hostel... at least I know where the good cafes are in Roma (one of the perks of travelling to the same place twice),
Yesterday I bought several plane tickets with Ryanair... which basically means that my travel plans are now fairly set in concrete.
My first ticket is from rome to london on the 6th of november and then from london to marrakesh (morocco). I figure that seeing as how morocco is so cheap I could spend about a month and a bit there... so on the 13th of december I leave marrakesh for london and go straight from london to berlin where I stay until the end of the month when the folks arrive on their own jaunt through europe. Sound like fun? I hope so... all I have to do now is find some work in rome for about a month... should be interesting :)
By the way people if my blog needs tweeking in anyway let me know... I do have some good stories so far (like the time stan introduced me to Bozkov rum) but it does become fairly laborious talking about everything so I have tended to paint some broad strokes with this blog... but by all means let me know if there is anything I should detail a bit more.
Anyway, how have you all been? (there is a correct answer to this question, it is- fine but missing you heaps david.)
I got in to Vienna last night, met a few people at the hostel (a yank, a kanuck and an aussie... ooh alliteration...), we hit the town (hard!) and checked out Flex, which is Vienna's popular alt music club on the danube... not really much to say about today... woke at twelve, I thought I would be smart last night when I was pissed and lock all my valuables in my pack and put the key in my shoe... It was quite entertaining when I thought I had been robbed! guess it teaches me for being smart when I'm drunk... it didn't even occur to me that I would blackout and forget what I had done last night... ahhh, good times!
Anywhos (new word there) i'll be off to find a post office and post some cards out, if you want to get one you have to drop me your address, and I promise to personalise each card for everyone... ciao!
Just a quick update on my trip thus far... I got off the plane after a bloody long trek from Australia (the 7hr stop-over in Saigon was a killer) in Praha airport. Having noticed only one other australian on the plane I approached him and asked him where he was from. His name was Stan, and he was an ex-pat living in Praha. As it turns out he spoke fluent Czech and he took me around Praha and the countryside introducing me to the traditional food and drink of the Czech culture. This was a good start for me because I had a bit of an insiders tour of the country, and I got to meet many locals, went rock climbing, etc... That was the first 4 days of my trip, and it was thankfully funded by Stan himself... kudos to aussie comraderie there!
PART 2 of my trip will hopefully be forthcoming but as for now I must go book a train ticket to Wien (Vienna) for tomorrow, ciao!
Just an update: Due to the fact that I could not get an Indian or Pakistani tourist visa (apparently these two countries aren't the best of friends!) my trip has taken a slight detour to Prague (Czech Republic). I will continue to mantain this blog for the before mentioned reasons and I hope my trip will still be the entertaining side project I was hoping for.
Hello world, (at least those who may be listening)
This weblog is an attempt by me (Dr) to catalogue my travels to India and beyond, and also as a simple method of comunicating with anyone back home who may wish to speak to me. My email unfortunately has become fast bogged with useless crap and anything people wish to send to me which has no direct implication to my being, and it is because of this that I'm writing a new blog for my travels... feel free to leave a msg, or say hello...
P.S. Please Mr. Internet- stop spamming me about russian brides, if I want one I know where to get them!
Location: Canberra, Australian Capital Territory, Australia
about me? I'm me... what more can I say about me?
I live. one day i'll be dead. you will also live and die. maybe one day our paths will cross. if they do, i hope that the only thoughts you have of me are happy thoughts and fond memories.